Why co-op games are good for friendships (and which to try)

Most board games end with one winner and several people who feel slightly worse about it. Cooperative games turn that around: everyone shares one goal and wins or loses together. They are not better than competitive games, but they do a few things for friendships that competitive games struggle to do. This post looks at what those things are and how to get started.

What is a co-op game?

In a cooperative game, the players are on one team against the game itself. There might be a disease to cure, a mountain to climb or, in the case of Toot Boat, a river to cross in one boat. Pandemic, designed by Matt Leacock and released in 2008, helped bring the idea to a wide audience in tabletop games, and many co-op games have followed. The shared goal is the defining feature, not the theme.

Why they can help friendships

Nobody is the loser

When you play together against the game, there is no single person to be disappointed. A loss is shared, so it stings less, and a win is shared too. That makes co-op games a comfortable choice when your group includes people with different levels of experience, such as a keen player and a newcomer, or an adult and a child.

You have to talk

A game where you need to coordinate gets everyone speaking. You discuss plans, point out risks, ask for help and say thank you. Those are the small habits of a good team, and they come out naturally when the stakes are low and the setting is playful.

Every contribution counts

In many competitive games, a weaker player is a pushover. In a co-op game, the weaker player is a teammate, and their idea or their well-timed move can save the group. That feeling of being needed matters. It is one of the reasons people enjoy them with friends and family.

Shared stories

A close finish, a spectacular failure or a clever rescue turns into a story that you retell. Shared stories are the glue of friendships. Games that produce more of them, and fewer arguments about who cheated, tend to leave people in a better mood.

Honest limits

Co-op games are not a magic cure. A confident player can start telling everyone else what to do, which turns the game into one person playing and the rest watching. Some people also miss the thrill of competition. Many groups settle on a mix: a competitive game to start, a co-op game to wind down. Mixing also keeps friendly rivalries healthy.

How to run a good co-op game

  1. Let everyone speak. If one player is dominating the plans, ask someone else for their idea first.
  2. Choose a game with a quick reset. Short rounds mean a failed attempt is just a funny story, not a lost evening.
  3. Celebrate small wins out loud.
  4. Make it a habit. Teams get better with practice, and so does the fun.
  5. Debrief for a minute afterwards: what worked, what was hilarious?

Co-op games to try online

The easiest place to start is Toot Boat, a free co-op game on inkmate for two to six people. You steer one boat together with nothing but a toot button each, which means nobody can do it alone. It plays in a private room, so friends can join from anywhere. Here is the full rundown: how to play Toot Boat.

You can also bend competitive games toward cooperation. In ludo or snakes and ladders, agree that the group is playing against the clock or sets a shared target, or play as teams of two. In chess, pair up as a team against a bot, taking turns to choose moves. These variations take a little imagination but work well with younger players.

Who benefits most

tip: Start with a game that is short and silly. If the first co-op experience is a win in ten minutes, people will want to play again.